The Deeper Darker, Scarier Book Of Hidden Secrets
by TheUltimateBookNerd
Summary: Ever heard of the Black Book Of Buried Secrets? IT'S A LIE! That was all a cover-up. So you didn't find this. This book holds their deeper, darker, scarier hidden secrets! Like did you know Fiske used to play *shudders* DORA! The horror! Let the hilariousity ensue. Rated T 'cause I'm tired. Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! R & R?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I was in the bathroom (weird place I know) when I came up with this idea. I decided even though I usually only do Maximum Ride stories, it would be a waste not to put this on.**

Chapter 1: Amy's Secrets

Amy POV

"I've gathered all of you, one operative from each Cahill branch to let everyone know the truth. Now that the hunt is done and the Vespers are defeated I know an evil will come upon us all soon because we are Cahills. So I've decided that we must grow close and have no secrets between us. Unfortunately this means even the most embarrassing secrets." I explained to my fellow Cahills.

"Then why are Dan, Fiske, and Nellie here too?" questioned Alistar.

"Yeah you said just one Cahill from each branch!" shouted Reagan.

"Okay fine. I actually picked the best of each branch to be here. And Reagan you shouldn't be talking since you're whole family is here. Plus Alistar the Starlings are here. I wanted Dan, Nellie, and Uncle Fiske with me." I told them crossing my arms.

"Well who's gonna go first then?" Jonah the superstar asked.

"I was hoping someone would volunteer..." I trailed off.

"I believe that since this was your idea Amy you should go first." Ted said.

"Yeah Amy. I would love to know what your secrets are." Ian spoke with a smug smirk on his face.

"Fine but Ian has to be next!" I grumbled but then lightened up seeing the expression on his face, "well here goes nothing." I said as I began to write down every one of my secrets.

1. I've always wanted a nose ring like Nellie

2. I have a strange birthmark shaped like a... toilet on my bum

3. I secretly love Star Wars which is why I get kind of excited when Dan has asthma attacks because he sounds like Darth Vader, my favorite character

4. If I wasn't Dan's sister I would actually think he's kind of cute...

5. I wished I was a Lucian before we found out I'm a Madrigal

6. I have an Elmo poster in the back of my closet

7. I'm jealous of Natalie's looks

8. I hate school

9. I'm a pyro, I was thrilled when I saw the fire in Grace's mansion

10. I secretly hate this idea I came up with

"BLACKMAIL!" Dan cackled running around in circles as I finished.

"So Amy you're jealous of me? I always knew it." Natalie smirked fluffing her hair.

"And I added to her ego." I sighed.

**Like it? Hate it? REVIEW! I would love it if you reviewed some of Ian's secrets...**


	2. Chapter 2

Ian POV

I so loved Amy's secrets!

"Your turn Cobra." Dan told me smiling. Oh how I wanted to squirt venom in his face right now... but I can't make it look like a Madrigal is better than me so here goes.

1. I am in love with the yellow teletubby. Its so entrancing!

2. I too find nose rings quite irresistable

3. I have a unicorn toy that says my name in an adorable French accent when I squeeze its horn

4. I was the one who put hair dye in Natalie's shampoo bottle

5. Mansions are despicable. I'm more of a cabin type

6. I once literally took a shower in money

7. I wear a wig sometimes

8. I'm carrying a deadly poison with me right now

9. The Holts aren't that bad. I wish I had their strength

10. I have a fear that somehow somewhere a duck is watching me *shudders*

"YOU PUT THE BLONDE DYE IN MY LOREAL! IAN!" Natalie screeched.

"Sorry?" I offered blushing slightly.

"You like unicorns?" Phoenix snickered.

"Your secrets are _lovely_." teased Amy.

This is going to be the death of me.

**Thanks for your review! You have no clue how ecstatic I was when I saw those three words! Sorry its so short. I was rushed to get off the laptop. R & R?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much to and anne-cahill-39 for the reviews! You guys rock! This chapter is for you two! Oh and this is really important! My sister Jenna started this organization for kids battling anorexia. She makes tie blankets and gives them to anorexic kids in the hospital, she started a Facebook page called Jenna's Battle Blankets, its amazing. You can order a blanket for 20 dollars and I know she and I would appreciate it if you checked it out and liked it. Thanks :)**

Phoenix POV

Ian likes unicorns! This is too good!

"So Ian, when you gonna show us this French unicorn of yours?" Reagan grinned. I'd hate to be Ian right now. Reagan scares me...

"NEVER! Why would you make me do this Amy?!" Ian groaned.

"You're never gonna live this down." I said looking up at Ian.

"Oh yeah? Well guess what Phoenix. Its your turn." Ian smirked wickedly. I should've never opened my mouth.

"Yo Phoenix doug. You go now." Jonah smiled at me deviously. Here we go...

1. I have a pillow pet named Chia.

2. When I 'fell' off that cliff, umm well it wasn't an accident... I thought I saw Chia on a branch below... I really like Chia...

3. I have a Barbie doll house in my closet. I sometimes play with it

4. You know how I have a knack for music? Actually that was a recording playing. I faked it

5. I think Jonah's gangsta act is stupid

6. Reagan scares me the most out of the Holts

Seeing me write number six down Reagan shouted "That's right!" I rolled my eyes and continued writing.

7. I sometimes wonder what it'd be like to be a girl... I actually do that a lot

8. I autotuned Jonah's microphone. Sorry Jonah

9. I hate rap. Sorry again Jonah

10. I never cut my toenails

"PHOENIX! THAT WAS YOU!" Jonah fumed. Hehe if he had his microphone with him his voice would sound techno right now.

"What can I say? I like techno. It makes rap sound good." I tried to explain.

"You really don't cut your toenails?" Dan asked disgusted. Wow if Dan's grossed out that must be a big deal. I nodded.

"Well that explains why your shoes are so big." He shrugged.

"I don't want my nails to break." I grinned sheepishly.

**Will Phoenix ever live these down? Will I get a lot of reviews? I sure hope so! R & R?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for your reviews KatnissCahill and catdreamer39! And MsDartgun's name didn't show up last chapter :( Thanks for your advice KatnissCahill and catdreamer39! I'll definitely use a lot of it. But these secrets are supposed to be crazy OOC. That's why it's funny. I know Amy's not adventurous. That's why it's funny that'd she'd want a nose ring. I know Amy loves school. That's why its weird and funny that I put she hates it. Now onto the chapter!**

Nellie POV

So Phoenix fell off the cliff on purpose!? The little punk. But then again my secrets probably trump his... wait why is everyone staring at me?

"Because you said all of that out loud dear." offered Alistar.

"I did," I blushed "Umm oops?"

"If your secrets trump Phoenix's why don't you go next?" Natalie said in a sickly sweet voice.

"No thanks." I responded.

"Come on Nellie. Tell us your secrets!" Dan nudged me.

"You watch it Dan. I could ground you for months straight!" I threatened.

"Oh for gosh sake Nellie! JUST SAY THE SECRETS! I did!" Amy yelled. Well that was weird. And kinda scary... Amy yelling isn't fun.

"Fine." I pouted starting to move the pencil.

1. I mixed frog guts in Dan's shampoo, he hardly uses that anyway

2. I like Dan more than Amy

I wrote number 2 and started moving on to number 3 when Dan interrupted me.

"HOLD UP! If I'm your favorite, why'd you put frog guts in my ninjapoo!"

"First, I was bored. Second, you need to call your shampoo something besides ninjapoo. Seriously that sounds like ninja's poop." I told him.

"Really? It does! COOL! NINJAPOO POWER!" Dan yelled running around. Back to my secrets.

3. I'm a Janus

"WAIT WHAT!? HOLD THE PHONE YO!" Jonah screamed.

"Yeah Jonah. I'm a Janus." I repeated.

"But you can't sing to save your life yo!" He yelled at me.

"There are other arts you idiot!" I rolled my eyes.

"But you can't draw either!" piped up Dan.

"COOKING IS AN ART!" I screamed. When I yelled this everyone just shrugged. Idiots...

"Wait this means a Janus knows all of the Madrigal secrets." Amy realized her eyes widening. At this Jonah lit up.

"Yo Nellie. What's up yo? Spill the details." Jonah said.

"HA! No. I may have Janus blood but I'm a Madrigal at heart!" I told him going back to writing.

4. I don't brush my teeth

5. I hate ice cream. The taste is awful

6. I'm a Whovian and proud! FEAR US!

7. I liked my job as a waitress much better than this babysitting gig. Sorry guys

8. I had a job as Barney

9. I CAN TWERK! *twerks* TAKE THAT MILEY CIRUS! BOOM

10. I'm 29

"WOAH! NELLIE'S OLD!" Dan shouted.

"If I'm old what's Alistar?" I retorted laughing when I saw Alistar glare.

"That's easy. He's ancient!" Dan answered gleefully.

"Watch it young one. You don't know what I keep in this cane." Alistar warned playfully.

**I hope this one's better! R & R?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thanks for the reviews! Here's the new chapter! And I'm still trying to use all of your great advice :) Thanks! Oh and one reviewer said "Where's the Amian?" Well I'm not one much for fluff but if you guys really want it I'll try to incorporate a little. If the majority of reviews say Amian then Amian you'll get! :)**

Reagan POV

HA! These punks secrets are soooo good. Can you say blackmail? I can't wait 'til it's Madison's turn. That'll be gooood.

"I pick Reagan." Nellie blurted out of nowhere.

"WHAT?! WHY!? I'LL PUNCH YOU SO MUCH!" I screeched.

"You're just standing there like you're too cool for this! Let's find out why you're now cool." Nellie answered with a smirk. I'm gonna pound her baaaad.

"No." I crossed my arms.

"Come on sis. We Holts aren't afraid of nothing!" Hamilton nudged me.

"Except this." I retorted.

"Does that mean you're fine with making it look like a Madrigal is better than us! Or a Lucian! And especially a Janus! What are you trying to do to the Tomas branch!?" Dad yelled at me.

"Fine." I huffed.

1. I take ballet

2. I wish I was an Ekat a lot

3. I hate orange. I hate anything orange it makes me go ballistic

4. I cry at night when I think of Mr. Whiskers my bunny from when I was 3

5. I think Voldemort's cute

"WAIT WHAT!? You think that egghead of a villain is cute? Just plain you think someone's cute?!" Madison shrieked.

"Yes now leave me alone." I said punching her gut twice.

6. I'm colorblind

7. Out of everyone here my favorite is Ted

I saw Ned whisper to Ted and then Ted blushed. I punched the geek.

8. I once got below average in gym

9. I was in touch with a Vesper for awhile. I actually dated him secretly. Then I dumped him. Literally I threw him out of the back of a dump truck

10. I named a rat Santa and hid him under my closet floor. He still lives there

"THERE I'M DONE!" I yelled and jumped off the building before anyone could say something. Good thing I brought a parachute!

**YAY! REVIEW PLEASE!**

**R**

**E**

**V**

**I**

**E**

**W**

**HIT THE BUTTON AND TYPE!**

**\ /**


	6. Goodbye

**A/N I am sorry but I'm not gonna be updating any stories for awhile. I am just so flipping mad at ff right now. They deleted half my stories! THEY DELETED MY TRUTH OR DARE STORY THAT HAD OVER 100 REVIEWS! Do you know how flipping hard I worked to earn that!? ALL BECAUSE IT WAS IN SCRIPT FORM THEY DELETED HALF OF MY STORIES! I'm really sorry guys but I don't know how long I'm not gonna update anything. I am just too flipping mad right now. I had the worst day today. I had to get a shot that I was freaking out so much they wanted to sedate me. I have a bruised bum from falling down the stairs. I didn't get to finish a really good movie. I missed my favorite T.V show. And now I find out THEY FLIPPING DELETED MY STORIES! I'm actually crying right now. I hate ff so much. I'm leaving and I don't know when I'm coming back. It might be in a month or it might be in a few years. I don't know if it'll be a day or a week. I don't know and I don't care. I just. I'm sorry. Goodbye**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Hey everybody. I saw all those reviews you left and I was actually pretty close to crying again. Its amazing how many of you want me to continue. Its just wow. Thank you all for your support, and I realized as much as I hate ff right now it isn't fair to you guys if I don't continue. Still everytime I go on fanfiction I want to just scream so I'm sorry if this chapters kind of depressing. Thank you all so much! This chapter's for you guys.

Hamilton POV

I snickered watching Reagan parachute down the building.

"Where ya going Reag!? To another ballet lesson? HAVE FUN PRINCESS!" I yelled at Reagan. She showed me the "naughty" finger. Well then.

"Since Reag left who's gonna go next?" Alistar questioned just as Madison's phone rang.

"It's Reagan," Mads informed us all pressing the answer button. "Hey what's up?"

"HAMILTON IS GOING NEXT!" I heard Reagan screech into the phone...

I wish I brought a parachute.

"Please don't make me do this!" I screamed snatching the phone away from Mads.

"Too bad big bro. Your up." I could practically hear the evil smirk in her voice.

"NO!" I bellowed throwing the phone down and smashing it into pieces.

I looked up seething and noticed everyone staring at me. Finally Madison broke the ice.

"You owe me a new phone."

I punched her. Hard.

"So uhh Hamilton, bro umm can you start now?" Dan looked at me nervously. Oh how punchable he looks right now.

"HAMILTON SNAP OUT OF IT!" Sinead walked up to me and slapped me. "Everyone is gonna have to tell their secrets so MAN UP!"

"Fine." I grumbled angrily.

1. I am a whiz with computers. NOT A NERD! I just have a knack for it!

2. I have pink bunny slippers.

3. I had a small obsession with Disney princesses. Cindy's just so cute...

4. I like eating Cheez-Itz dipped in yogurt.

At this point I noticed almost everybody making faces and muttering "Gross" or "Hamilton's a nerd!" So I did what any sane person would do. I stabbed the paper repeatedly with the pen, then broke the pen and smeared the ink over Natalie.

"THIS IS DESIGNER! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS HAMILTON HOLT YOU DOLT! UGH PEASENTS!" She shrieked. That made me feel better.

5. I have a journal in which I write my deepest darkest feelings and thoughts in.

"You have a diary? Bro that's so lame." I heard Jonah snicker.

"What did you say?" I asked grabbing him.

"Uhh j-journal is uhh t-tot-a-ally dope y-yo." He stuttered smiling nervously.

"That's what I thought." I spoke as I dropped him.

6. One time I tried to pretend being one of the Kabras for a day.

"That's why you were in such a stuck up mood that day!" Mom realized.

"So you were pretending to be me? Well that's lovely." Ian sighed happily.

"No..." I denied.

"Then who were you trying to be?!" Ian looked at me dubiously.

"Na-Nat. Your sister." I choked on the words.

Natalie looked absolutely mortified.

"I would understand your sisters wanting to be me," she paused flipping her hair over her shoulders "But umm you? Do you know your a boy? And I'm a girl."

"I know." I muttered.

"Well that explains why your cheeks looked unusually put on makeup didn't you?" Madison asked me grinning.

I just continued with the list.

7. I listen to Justin Bieber and I like his music

8. I sometimes look in the mirror and compare myself to Dora. She's so amazing. She's my role model

9. I did Lola, from the Spanish Sesame Street's voice on the first few episodes

10. When I'm scared I click my heels three times saying "I wanna go homr. I wanna go home, I wanna go home."

"You do know your not Dorothy from Wizard Of Oz right?" Amy asked.

I facepalmed.

A/N I'm still pretty sad and angry so my updating might be all over the place. I just know I'm probably not gonna be updating too regularly. Sorry. R & R please? Your reviews are the only things that keep me from never going on this website again.


End file.
